Saw the Eiffel Tower and tulips and pretty white horsies and Neuschwanstein and Omaha beach and Tivoli Gardens where they had a really really fun fun house and I was the only one in my family young enough to go in and we rode this really big Ferris Wheel in Vienna and we was in a salt mine and we saw giant Gothic cathedrals with dead people in the floor and we saw where they make Marthabrau and my sister's name is Martha, so she got a bottle of brau and we went to Madurodam where they have lots of little tiny houses and Daddy took a picture of a duck in the canal, but the canal was like miniature, so the duck was as wide as the canal and we went to Legoland where they have rides and stuff and lots of little houses, just like Madurodam, but the houses are all made out of LEGO and we panned for LEGO gold and they had Mt. Rushmore which took 1.4 million pieces of LEGO which is a lot and we was gonna go on a Rhine boat which Mommy really wanted to do, but I had some sort of bothersome gastro-intestinal ailment, so we didn't, but we drove the car and we saw the Lorelei rocks what years later the Pogues were to sing so sweetly about and we saw cities and farms and the cities and farms in Europe are different than the cities and farms in the States and Daddy would say "sehr gut" with a really bad accent so my sister and me would try to get real small in the back seat so nobody would see us and in Denmark where Legoland is we saw lots of white churches that looked like they were made out of Lego, but they were real churches not Lego ones and I can't remember any more if we actually saw the pissing baby or if he was on vacation and I saw the Nike of Samothrace who has no head but is beautiful anyway, so beautiful she co-starred in "Funny Face" with Audrey Hepburn who has a head and a neck and she was just up the stairs from the lady with no arms what Mommy didn't mind me looking at even though she was half dressed and we saw the Mona Lisa behind bullet proof glass on the other side of a room full of people which is weird, because she is a painting and why would anybody want to shoot her because she's already dead and lots of people didn't talk English, but that's OK because they weren't supposed to but it might have been handy and in Rothenburg ob der Tauber Daddy and I went up in the tall tower in the Rathaus but we didn't see any rats but the view was really pretty and I saw a bridge like that one in France but maybe not so big but I took a picture anyway and we saw Versailles and we saw Herrenchiemsee which is just like Versailles but maybe not so big and on an island and the mirrors were clean and in Paris we rode on the Metro which goes underground and I didn't like the breakfast in France which was just yucky bread and coffee but usually I could get hot chocolate but in Holland and stuff we got lunch meat for breakfast and good bread and crackers so I felt better there and on the Champs Elysees we saw the TV guy that does "This is Your Life" he was doing something for TV with tall ladies in fur coats and we tried to talk to him because he's famous and we wondered what he was doing but he was a right jerkface and in Le Havre there was lots of coal on the docks and once in France we passed an old burned up tank in a field which must have been from when the war was and in France there was art right next to the highway that's because the highway in France is really boring and you need the pretty colors to cheer you up so you don't drive off the road and hit a cow and we took the ferry boat home and were tired.